I’ve always seen my life as a succession of seasons, each teaching me something new and bringing the right people into my life at the right time. Typing these posts on my laptop, I feel like Carrie Bradshaw. I love romanticizing my life by turning each minute occurrence into a profound lesson, aiming to give this blog credibility and, hopefully, impart some wisdom I have learned along the way.
It has now been nearly five years since I started Chocolate and Politics, and, funny enough, I have never divided my blog into seasons until my life completely flipped upside down upon leaving home and starting college. However, I now see a clear shift between each year (or even week), as if the leaves around me are constantly changing color. In fact, I’ve grown more as a person in my first year of college than I did in all four years of high school. I’ve learned a lot about love, loss, life, and the kind of person I want to be. I’ve made more mistakes than I care to admit and apologized as much as I could. In the end, though, it made me stronger and taught me how to exist in a world where no one really cares as much as I think they do.
Moving into my second year of college and the “third season” of Chocolate and Politics, I wanted to write a short and refreshing blog post to document all the ways I have changed this year and all the ways I hope to continue to evolve. Before this year, I considered “change” as something to chase, whether it was a smaller body, a bigger friend group, or a meek personality. I was always waiting for my life to be different than it currently was. The first major change I saw in myself this year was that, finally, I loved my life just as it was in the current moment. Each day was exciting and fresh, bringing new opportunity and characters around every corner. In letting go of the constant desire to change, I found that I changed in all the ways that were most important. This year, I:
- Stopped chasing attention and validation from people I would never get it from.
- Learned how to spend time with myself.
- Expanded my music taste.
- Learned to say “No” to things I did not want to do.
- Started speaking up (even though I was scared).
- Met my best friends.
- Tried forty new restaurants in Gainesville.
- Gained weight (and accepted it).
- Started “agreeing to disagree”.
- Got stronger in the gym.
- Achieved my first “in print by-line.”
- Started realizing what I want to do as a career.
- Traveled to new countries and gained perspective.
- Stopped allowing myself to be a doormat.
- Embraced “VeryBerryPai” as my personal brand.
- Decreased my caffeine intake.
- Faced my mistakes and understood that they do not define me.
- Heard people talk about me and just let it go.
- Decorated my room!
- Opened up about my biggest insecurities.
- Did something completely spontaneous.
- Started appreciating my home and understanding how lucky I am to have my family.
In all these ways, I am glad to have changed. These things did not need to be chased; they simply came naturally as I fell down and chose to get back up again. Nonetheless, I also understand my desire for goals to chase. Working hard and wishing some things were different does not mean I am unhappy with what I have; it simply means I am igniting the spark for my own motivation. Some changes come naturally, while others require more effort. In the next season of my life, I want to change for me. I want to:
- Start journaling daily and writing blog posts weekly.
- Stop telling myself “I’m not good at XYZ.”
- Create just to create again.
- Implement screen time limits (and follow them).
- Compliment and talk to more new people every day.
- Learn to cook like my mom.
- Only commit to things that fill my own cup.
- Read more.
- Give more hugs and tell people I love them often.
- Realize that people are not “guilty by association”; everyone has different experiences with different people.
- Get. More. Sleep.
- Keep promises I make to myself just as I would for anyone else.
I don’t know if these changes will turn out the way I want them to, but I know that by the end of this year, I will have changed and grown into a version of myself that I will be proud of. Each semester, each week, and each day brings a new opportunity to be one percent better, and maybe along the way, I will realize those small changes build up to be big ones, and then the season changes again.
Happy Living
“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” -Jim Rohn
chocolate and politics 