DEALING WITH DRAMA

Tomorrow marks the first day of “Thanksgiving Break”, which for me, means that it has been almost nine months since I have been out of (physical) school. Many of my friends are in the same boat and it’s weird because, this is the longest period of time many have gone without attending classes. With physical school, you get a lot of benefits: seeing friends, hands-on teaching, and a feeling of normalcy. However, along with these things come some negative factors, one of these being the constant drama.

To be honest, I don’t think I ever truly noticed how much drama I was engrossed in until I was forced to step away from it. Last year especially, I knew so much about everyone else’s life and problems, at times it felt like I was living fifteen different lives. Now, it’s become so easy to detach from drama and although I hear about different things, it doesn’t faze me.

Now, just because I use my own life as an example doesn’t mean that those in different situations as me don’t deal with drama. I see people ten, twenty, thirty years older than me absorbed in just as much. Being as young as I am, I probably haven’t experienced half the drama there is to come, but being around it constantly has required me to come up with a way to let go of it all. Sure, right now we can probably just switch off our phones, but what happens when we go back and are face-to-face with all the chaos around us.

If I had to come up with one tip, it would be to “just ignore it”. Truly, if you can find a way to disregard every rumor, every gossip laden conversation, and every opportunity to put someone else down, then all the drama from your life is basically gone. But, clearly this is easier said than done. It’s so easy to jump in and begin “harmlessly” talking about something, and before you know you are knee deep in a discussion you wish you had never started. So, instead I am going to try to give you three sure-fire ways to stay out of drama this (school) year (whenever it starts/started for you).

  1. Ask yourself “what kind of person do I want to be?”

For me, this is the most powerful question. When you hear a person(s) gossiping about another, before jumping in, ask yourself “what kind of person do I want to be?” If the person you are talking about heard you, what would they think? What would that show about you? Is that the kind of person you want to be? Most likely, the answer to that question will be “no”, and hopefully, it will stop you from joining in on the gossip. Because, you never know (especially in high school), what will get back to someone. Be kind to others, whether it is to their face or behind their back.

2. Ask yourself “will this matter in 5/10/15 years?”

Most drama you come across is very short-lived. Just last year, two of my good friends fought over a boy they both liked. Today, they are best friends again and it’s as if that little quarrel never happened. In the end, it didn’t matter. So, what was the point of saying hurtful things and wasting time and energy? Before you dive into drama, ask yourself “will this matter in 5/10/15 years?” Again, most likely the answer will be no. Drama in itself, is petty, stupid, and temporary. Definitely not worth the stress. If on the off chance the answer is “yes”, that means it is most likely something deeper, and instead, you should find a way to deal with the problem in a healthy and productive way.

3. Learn from your mistakes

Like me, you may have made the mistake of getting caught up in drama in the past. This year, think back to those times and again, ask yourself “what did I get from involving myself in drama?” In my case, you end up losing yourself instead of gaining anything. We should always be working to grow and better ourselves, and drama, is the last thing that will help us do that. Like with anything, your past is the best teacher.

All in all, drama is something that girls (and guys) can easily get caught up in. What we don’t realize is how much it affects our character. This year, one of my goals is to disengage from all the drama. I now realize that you don’t need everyone to like you in order to be a good person. You need your morals, good people to keep you out of bad situations, and a simple life void of drama.

“Sometimes it’s better to react with no reaction” -Anonymous

Happy Living (& Happy Thanksgiving!!)

Featured image by @a_d_s_w on Unsplash.com

Published by Ria Pai

Hi let me introduce myself. I was born and have lived my entire life in a beach area as a child of two amazing parents who immigrated to America from India. I love art, music and writing so I try to combine the three. I enjoy deep conversations on a number of topics from politics, to friendships, to fashion. I’m a natural perfectionist, but sometimes find this to be a bit overwhelming. I love mangos, dark chocolate and tea. I make art whenever I get the chance…painting, songwriting, dancing, and writing are all forms of art to me. Since I live in a warm area, I cannot stand any weather that is below 60 degrees Fahrenheit and always find a way to swim in anything from pools to the ocean. I have one dog, a Lhasa Apso who I am envious of because he does nothing but eat, sleep, and lay around all day. I experiment with my style. I am horrible at geography and sitting still, and it’s not uncommon to find me with paint all over my hands. I like to wear bold clothing and I always find a way to wear the same white sneakers with any outfit I can. Hi, my name is Ria, nice to meet you.

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