THE PEOPLE WE MEET ARE THE PEOPLE WE LOVE

There are times when, watching someone narrate their life, I am eternally grateful to hear their story. I love learning about the little facets that make up a random stranger; what is hidden behind the curtain they present to the world. I believe that is the most exciting part about making new friends: slowly watching a perfectly curated individual unravel into bits and pieces of what makes them special. It reminds me that everyone has a history that I am lucky to be a part of and opens me up to the ocean of faces I have yet to meet and whom have yet to influence me in ways I could never fathom.

In the past few months, I have met more people than I can recall. Some I met in passing, while others have become so established in my life that they have changed the way I view the world. Some have made me laugh so hard it hurts and reminded me that I am alive, while others have made me question the way I give so much to people who simply use me to boost their own sense of self. In this way, I am reminded of the arduous process of meeting new people. It is the kind of draining journey I have not traveled in quite a while. In fact, not since I was a naïve freshman in high school writing posts like “Meeting New People”.

Nonetheless, since then, I have learned more about myself and how to incorporate others into my life. I have learned what I want instead of constantly hoping that someone else will want me. I have begun to learn what I look for in a friend and how, sometimes, it’s okay to let people go when they are willing to let go of me. A good friend is not someone who is there for you under specific conditions; they do not value you for what you can give them but rather for the way their life is enriched because you are in it. A good friend does not put you above themselves, but they do everything in their power to ensure you understand your importance and that, at the end of the day, they would choose you over status, or money, or power.

When meeting new people, look at each one as if they could become your next best friend. Identifying who you want in your life (and who deserves to be there) starts with understanding someone’s values. Actions speak louder than words. Talk to people with the sole purpose of learning about them: I want to know your favorite ice cream flavor, and the stories your grandmother told you when you were young, and your goals, and dreams, and the first thing you think about in the morning. Starting a relationship, no matter how big or small, starts with people watching, people listening, and then… people loving.

In the years I spent walking on eggshells around groups I so desperately craved validation from, I finally came to accept the wisdom I had heard again and again: a few close friends are better than a mass of acquaintances. After experiencing my fair share of disappointments, I am only more grateful for those in my life who love me unconditionally. I cherish late nights sitting at the kitchen island, blasting Drake, and chatting with my roommates who, a few months ago, I had never imagined would become big sisters to me. I look forward to car rides home with one of my best friends, Anamika, who I admire as a dancer, political activist, and great listener. I love dinner dates with Sara, Quinlen, and Jaden, my friends from high school who still make the effort to maintain a relationship with those they have grown up with. And, even more, I am elated at the prospect of all the people I will come to meet and love over the next four years. Each day, I walk around campus and smile at familiar faces. While I cannot predict who will become part of my inner circle, it brings me comfort to know that there are an infinite number of hearts out there to love and, at least a few out there who will love mine just as wholly. After all, although it takes time, the people we meet can one day become the people we love.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 🙂