SAY YES NOW, FIGURE IT OUT LATER

In my lifetime, I have said no to a lot of things.

“No, I can’t dance at this party if no one else is going to”.

“No, I shouldn’t order the burger since they are ordering the salad”.

“No, I don’t mind taking on that extra responsibility“.

It was always a resounding no… when speaking to myself

The interesting thing about saying no, is that is the direct inverse of saying yes. For ever no you declare, you are saying yes to something else, and therefore prioritizing one thing over another. The issue is not with the word no, because setting boundaries is incredibly important. The issue, rather, is the reasoning behind the numerous times we reject opportunities simply because it does not fit our current plan.

Recently, talking to new people everyday has given me perspective on how people-pleasing can quickly become one’s undoing. It seems like overcommitting can be more hazardous than rejecting certain obligations. But, balance is a very tricky chord to strike. It requires one to listen to their own intuition while also considering what may benefit them in the long run.

Personally, I believe the intention behind these short words is of utmost importance. Being someone who felt compelled to say yes to others while saying no to herself, I realize now that the only person I should be working to please is myself. We are there to enhance others’ lives, not to hold them on our shoulders.

When it comes to choosing the right time to say yes, I offer one simple question to ask yourself: who am I saying yes to? Are you saying yes to going out tonight because you want some social interaction or to satisfy your encroaching FOMO? Are you taking on that job opportunity because it sounds interesting to you or because you want another bullet point on your resume? Are you stuck saying yes to things you feel like you should do while saying no to things you want to do?

At the end of the day… you come first. Putting yourself above others does not make you selfish — it makes you smart. You should always help others, but remember that only you can be the main character in your own life. It is easy to question how every decision we make, every yes we say, is affecting those around us, but, you have to understand that by jeopardizing yourself, you are doing the same to others.

As I move into my first semester of college, I am exctied to see where saying yes can take me. I do not mean draining my social battery or taking every class I can. I mean saying yes to spending time with new people, yes to exploring my career options, yes to late night movie marathons, and even yes to packing butter chicken from home. Sometimes, all this yes will mean saying no to other things, but I have time and unlimited chances to live through different phases of life. For now, my only piece of advice is to say yes now, and figure it out later.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you aren’t saying ‘no’ to yourself” -Paulo Coehlo

Happy Living

*Look for a new ‘Chocolate and Politics’ podcast episode on Spotify this Friday for more words of wisdom